Legalize It

Memory Lane

I just wanted to post a few pics to remember the old days; when Mud didn't look like moses, when Brad, Pat and I had (some) hair.... ahhh, the good ole days!

It was great to see everyone recently and help celebrate Jay's birthday. Congratulations Brad, Erin, Jay and Kim, on your new little blessings!!!

The Matrix Runs on Windows

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Maybe we should listen to people that were right?

www.europac.net

Ok BabyMaker - here is some fun

3rd Grade Civics Lesson

http://www.campaignforliberty.com/blog.php?view=3270

The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president. We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.

To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.

The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia’s mother. The day arrived when they were to make their speeches. Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Every one applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the podium. Her speech was concise. She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down. The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.”

She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn’t sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn’t know. The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream. Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a land slide.

Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth he offers ice cream, and fifty percent of America reacts like nine year olds. They want ice cream. The other fifty percent know they’re going to have to feed the cow.

Griffin Slideshow

Jake always yells at me for not posting :)

Bball Update

I'm less than excited about the recent participation on SayWudup!!! I know we're all busy, but c'mon ppl...let's do some bloggin here.

So, as Dan Shelton used to sing all the time... "in my life", things are a'happenin...

1. Me and the GF broke up. The ol' job market in NYC is not conducive to a move w/out having a job. Therefore, we have parted ways as she tries to look elsewhere. I'm bummin, but we each had to do what was best for eachother.

2. After many years of back issues, I decided to go to the Spine Doctor. He diagnosed me with Spondylolisthesis. In my case, this means that I had a stress fracture back in the "hometown hero" days at JHS. It never healed right and it caused the lower two veritibrae to separate a bit (in my case 1/4 slippage). Therefore, the disc has started to erode as it has tried to keep my spine in place. I will be getting an MRI next week to get a better idea of the severity and will also have to likely get injections. He game me some muscle relaxers & anit-inflamatory meds and I have already started Rehab...not a fan of it. I have to do all those gay machines that women do. You know...the ones that look like you're training for sex by opening and closing your legs. I also have to do more situps than I've ever thought of doing. I am not a fan of any of these workouts...

3. I'm moving away from the wonderful world of Embassies, UNICEF and the UN. I do not know where yet as finding an apt in nyc is like winning the lottery.

4. I will be in attendance for Homecoming next week...holla! I hope everyone can make it that isn't pregnant, a new parent, or any combination of the before mentioned. This also means that I get to see Baby Sefchick and hopefully Baby Griffin if the little guy ever gets here!

I hope to see as many of you as possible next week.

Peace and ball grease... -Bball

Feeling Violated

So, I was on my way home from work yesterday when I get a call from Erin. I was not thinking much of the call because she regularly calls me when I am on my way home. During the call she asks me where I was, I state "Lake Road, why?" she then states "Our house was broken into!". So I followed by the normal set of follow up questions, How? How do you know? Who? What did they take? So, she goes on to tell me that there was a card in the mailbox that states to call the Lakewood PD as your house was broken into. Erin called the PD and they asked does she notice anything missing. She follows by noticing things are missing but she is unsure what. The officer states...Samsung DVD player, Erin confirms that it is missing.....Playstation 2, she again confirms that it is missing, Hardcore Nights Volume #3 ...................................she states, "I think that may be my husbands, but I am unsure".
So, 2 14 years kids break in to our house, steal a bunch of our stuff........and find my porn collection at the same time !!
The police using there crafty policing skills caught the little bastards a street over.
The police then come to the house last night with our stuff so we can ID it, sign a waiver to claim it and then retake ownership. They pull out the DVD player and I confirm that it is mine, then they pull out the Playstation 2 and I again confirm that it is mine......then the office states "We also have adult movie here, Hardcore Nights volume #3" ..... I confirm that it is mine and has to sign a waiver slip that had a description of the said DVD.
I am pressing charges, I feel a bit violated as there were stangers roaming our house and will be actively searching out a better hiding spot for my collection.....tonight.

Question

So most of you know that I am offended by the word retard and feel that unless you are using it in its corect context you should not use it.
I have not seen the new Ben Stiller movie Tropic Thunder but can't help but hear the controversy that surrounds it. After hearing arguments both for and against the movie, big surprise I am choosing not to see it.
If you have seen the movie, doyou think it could have been funny without using the word retard? Just wondering what everyone else thinks.

Sports are Awesome!!

It's no suprise that I'm a huge fan of sports. Sports have always been a huge influence in my life. I've been planning on writing a little ditty on the whole Brett Favre trade. Ya know...the fact that I'll actually enjoy watching the forced Jets games that I have to watch. But I now want to focus on the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. To preface everything, you all obviously know that I have a slight obsession with Basketball. I have been watching all of the preview shows for the Olympic Basketall team and have been very excited to see the US team play. It's not often that you get to see a collection of your favorite players play for your country against the rest of the world.
It has not been just Basketball that I've been looking forward to. I had a feeling that the opening ceremonies would be pretty awesome. To my suprise, it was much better than pretty awesome. It was simply a spektical. The 300 million dollar event featured 1500 separate performers; none of which played more than one part in the performance. The fireworks were amazing. The technology was unbelievable. But the most impressive thing was simply the inginuity and creativity.
It is only day three, but I'm really lovin the olympics. Phelps has already won a gold medal and beat the world record by almost 1.5 seconds. A Georgian and Russian hugged after finishing second and third in their event. (ironically it was women's air pistol) I've watched some cool sports I would never normally watch. Now, I'm watching the US woop up on China in Baskbetball and I'm in heaven. There have been more amazing plays in the first half than you see in most all star games. (Lebron is amazing btw)
So if you have not been actively watching the Olympics, you best get to it.

Old School Fun

Does everyone remember going to the Euclid Tavern and watching Wesley Willis (RIP)? Well, just for a little reminder, here's the king himself performing a song that never leaves my head (or heart).

FYI

Enough Said

Cakes

I love this -
We first had Jimmycakes - classic !!!!
Then we had Kimmycakes ......is your maiden name Cakes? Even better !!! I still laugh when I think of that
and coming soon this September ....................
Babycakes !!!!! hahahahahaha

Mid-Summer Classic

Last night I attended the 2008 All Star game at Yankee Stadium. The seats were very similar to those that I usually get when going with Chris. The price...well, it was over 10x the price that Chris pays for Yankees tickets. My ticket (thankfully paid for by a family friend of Jodie Fodor) was 400...face value! I almost sharted (again) when I saw that!

The Game Itself

The game was pretty awesome. Here are some take aways:

-I have never been to such a historical event. Seeing all the greats at each position assemble before the game was something truly special.
-I saw my first Stealth bomber (it was way stealth)
-I participated in a "14th Inning Stretch"


-For the first time in my life, in the 15th inning, I rooted for a Boston Red Sox player. It's such an odd feeling to root for your enemy because they are playing on the same team as your guys. I was able to keep up my steady "boo's" and "Pappelbum's" for a majority of the game. But there's something about a 4hr and 50 minute game that really makes you want something...anything to happen so that the game can end.
-I did not get home until almost 2:45. Needless to say, I'm exhausted.

My first cool picture

Jake asked me to make a post this week for his birthday, so ......here it is. I have nothing really important to say, nothing clever to spout on about, in reality I don't know what to say...so I will just say what's up !

I thought I would share this with the group, here is my my first really cool picture (well I think it is cool for not knowing what the hell I am doing) that I took this past weekend with the new camera Erin bought me for my birthday (with the help of Jay and his point system).

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!

Today is a happy day in Casa de Lilie. I purchased a Wii today and am proudly accepting auditions for play partners like the one in the very entertaining video above. Obviously, this is my beautiful girlfriend, Anita!!!

Both the Griffin household and the Lilie household have Mario Kart and will be up until the Wii (get it, Wii...which sounds like WHEE) hours of the morning popping eachother's balloons. At least I think you still do that in Mario Kart. If anyone else has one and thinks they can beat Kim (which I doubt), we will be practicing...so let us know!

Why men don't have babies.

An example why Men don't have babies.

Yesterday I am at work and I start having some very mild contractions, so I call my doctor and she tells me to go to the hospital to make sure all is okay. I calmly call Brad because he needs to come and pick me up. Right away panic in his voice asking when my water broke, how far apart the contractions are, are they painful? Again as stated before I said MILD. Brad makes it to my office in record time and we are off to the races to get to the hospital, running lights and making crazy turns. Poor Brad also in panic mode because the nursery is not done and our crib is on back order for another couple of weeks.
We pull into the parking lot and Brad doesn't know where to go. Now as all new soon to be parents do, we have toured the hospital and been given a detailed explanation what to do. I calmly explain to him to pull into the emergency parking. We enter by the emergency room and Brad is trying to check me into the emergency room. Why would we go to the emergency room when labor and delivery is on the 3rd floor?
After hanging out in labor and delivery for a bit the doctors determine everything is fine and that I can go home but I need to rest to get the contractions to stop. I then have to explain to Brad that rest does not mean yard work outside.
So much for having a calm partner guide me though labor!

Graduate degree... A near death experience.

This is pretty long, but an accurate account of my near death experience.

As I’m sure most of you know, the reason that I moved out to the mid-west (aside from the beautiful weather) was to peruse a masters degree. What many of you don’t know, is that I never actually finished it. I completed all the classes and conducted all the necessary research for my thesis, but never finished writing the thesis. You know the story, job, wife, house, kid on the way... It's easy to get caught up in life. Eventually, I had to suck it up and finish it.

So, a year ago I started busting my ass, working on the weekends, and writing this huge masterpiece of a 150 page paper. Went through 6 rounds of revisions with my advisor (Dr. Abdul Shakoor - AKA Shak-Daddy). Finally, after a year, all my hard work paid off... I was now ready to Defend my thesis.

Defending a thesis in my department is a little like being initiated into a geeky frat of sorts, minus the elephant walk and soggy biscuit. You stand in front of your advisor, along with your 2 other committee members, the deans of the department and arts and sciences, and anybody else who wants to come see a grad student getting beat up by his superiors... Here it is: You do a 1 hour presentation about the research, followed up by Q and A. Each professor in the committee gets 30 minutes to fire off questions, followed up by another round of 10 minutes of questions per professor.

Now, before we started, my advisor approached me to let me know that these guys were going to be tough on me, and if I got into any real tough spots, he would have my back. Wow, was that a relief. I knew these guys could be tough. Knowing that my advisor was watching out for me really put my nerves at ease. Plus, he was the 3rd out of the 3 people who were grilling me, so I knew he would toss me some creampuff questions. Also, the second of the two professors (Dr. Carlson - AKA Father Time) was really old, I wasn’t sure if he was even going to ask questions. He is so senile, that he was actually caught walking into oncoming traffic twice that week (100% true).

So, onto the big show. I give my hour presentation. It went off without a hitch. I honestly thought that seeing how well I presented myself, and how thoroughly I described my research, that they would simply ask one or two questions and let me go home with my masters degree....

Professor # 1 - Dr. Moore – Hydrogeologist (Geek-latin for “I like water.”) I knew he would be my toughest customer. He had busted my balls since day 1. He proceeded to ask me some rather difficult questions. Overall, I handled him pretty well. I never had to call in my hard hitting advisor (Shak-daddy) to walk me through the proper answers. “Wow” I think to myself, “this isn’t so bad.”

Onto Professor # 2 – Father Time shoots me over a look as if to ask, “Hey, I recognize your face, but where am I?” Essentially, Old Man Winter over here burps and drools on his shoulder… “God, this is gonna be so easy…,” I think to myself. “Why didn’t I finish this 4 years ago.” Onto the next guy.

Professor # 3 – My advisor, my rock, Dr. “Shak-daddy” Shakoor. What could he possible ask me. I mean, as he told me earlier, he is here to support me. To make sure I don’t get backed into a corner by these other professors. I take a sip of my coffee, preparing for mundane, bullshit questions…

All of the sudden… I look outside. The sky begins to close as if it were the end of days. Shak-daddy began to open his mouth, and I swear I felt the earth quake below my feet. This man, my rock, my support through this whole ordeal, began to rain down a verbal assault on me as if I had defiled his wife and children. He fired off question after question with satanic hell-fire in his eyes. I mean, he was asking me things that I would never have expected, or could have possibly prepared for. Fuck, I didn’t even understand half of the words he used to ask me these questions… WHAT THE FUCK? This guy was here to help me, not to beat me down. He was ruthless, relentless and I could see that he was driven by nothing but pure and absolute hatred. He just kept it coming for almost 50 minutes… I am literally sweating, my hands are clammy, and my voice reverted back to the pre-pubescent cracking of a 13 year old. How could he do this to me. Fucking Benedict Arnold!

Round 2… I pull myself out of the fetal position, and assess the damage. 1 black eye, a broken rib, and my once highly confident nature is nothing by a shell of a battered ego. The water geek, who was essentially “Shocked and Awed” that my advisor would do this to me, forked over a couple of cream puff questions at me for his second round. I could see that he felt genuine sorrow for the verbal assault that I just had to withstand… He takes about 10 minutes with his questions, and onto the Next guy.

Father Time is now sleeping. He poops his pants (smiles a little bit in his senile slumber) and we move on…

Back to Judas… I immediately assume a defensive position. At this point, I’m thinking, “OK, he got it all out of his system the first time, so how tough could this be…” You would think that after 7 years of college, I would have learned something. Nope…

Judas once again lunges at me with a brutal barrage of questions. This time, he is completely vicious. Not only is he asking me ridiculously hard questions, but he is actually asking me trick questions, that no one could possibly answer properly. I mean, this shit has nothing to do with my thesis. At one point, Im pretty sure that I actually had to describe how my research could “bend time” and defend why my procedures didn’t produce a cure for cancer. As I am fumbling through my words to try to muster up something that vaguely resembles an answer, I swear I saw Judas pulling a shiv out from under his shirt, so that he could finish me off jail-yard style. At this point, I welcomed it… For god sakes, would somebody please just call this fight?!?! The kid is getting murdered in there.

Then, I got this overwhelming sense that only one of us were leaving that room alive. I knew what I had to do. Like a battered mongoose, I swipe back at my attacker by asking him “why do these questions even matter?” Oh no… I think I made it angry. He stands up, loosens his tie, and I now notice that I am actually standing in hells 6th ring of fire. Standing in a puddle of my own urine, for some reason, I cant seem to remember how much my life insurance policy is worth. What will my child know about me as he grows up fatherless? I hear a voice from deep within saying, “Jason, follow the light.” Ahh, but Judas wont let me out that easy. In a glorious tempest of hatred and detestation, Judas begins to deliver is death blow. He assumes the crane position from the Karate Kid, and proceeds with his final torrent of fire and brimstone. He doesn’t even bother giving me a chance to respond, as he confident that I do not know the answers. He just goes from question to question, like a casino bar-fly chain smoking Newports. After an additional 20 minutes of ranting, he eventually ceased his bombardment. He actually dropped his microphone at the end as if he just won a freestyle rap battle in the slums of Detroit.

The sky began to clear. I pinch myself… Yes, I’m still alive. 1, 2, 3…. Yes… all my fingers and appendages are still attached.

I’m battered, bruised, and although the experience has caused my balls to shrivel to the size of raisins, I have a Masters Degree…

Drunk Texting Can Be Dangerous

I've never really been a drunk dialer since owning a cell phone. However, I am an avid drunk texter. This has often gotten me into great trouble with the opposite sex. Last weekend, I made a drunk texting mistake of new proportions.
I was playing beer pong all night and doing quite well. Which ultimately means that you get drunker and drunker the more successful you are. Well, after a few too many games, I texted Anita to see if she was still awake. I did not get a response, so I replied to an earlier text from her to say, "Guess not.... Goin to bed now. Luv u, good night". This is a seemingly inocuous message right?

Well, I woke up in the morning and checked my BB. I got no txt's and a few emails, so I didn't think anything of it. A couple hours later, I checked the emails and to my suprise, one of my clients sent an email saying, "I'm guessing this wasn't for me". Oh yes, I sent that loving goodnight message to my client instead of my girlfriend.

Moral of the story is to always verify who your drunk texting is going to...

First for me...

Well, I made a grown man cry today! That is a first. It must be my evil pregnancy attitude. HAHA

and you pick on my point system....

I know that many of you bust my balls for my anally over-prepared nature…

Most of it is well warranted. Yes, I have applied point systems to household chores, I keep an excel spreadsheet to keep track of possible baby names, and plan vacations down to the proper color for luggage tags (pink…. And yes, I said anal up there…)

Recently, I caught a lot of shit from Brad and Erin because of my morning (or night before) rituals… It is these same rituals that keep life in order. Here it is…. Every night, I get out and iron my clothes for the next day, I get the coffee maker all ready, I pack up my computer and gym bags with all the necessary items (sometimes I even go as far as to put them in the car the night before), I even put my car keys in the refrigerator so that I don’t forget my lunch…

Well, this is why… Im a fucking retard (sorry Erin…). I am just too damn groggy at 5:45am to make sure that I am leaving the house with all my shit (laptop, gym bag, clothes, towel, lunch, coffee, wallet, phone, etc….) I have to do it the night before!

So, on to the good stuff… Last night, I had a bunch of work to do and got to bed pretty late. I have been traveling a lot, so even though it was a late night, I needed to hit the gym in the morning (you don’t get to be a beefcake like me by playing Wii all day…). I didn’t have an opportunity to get all my stuff ready, so I thought I would just take care of all of it this morning.

I manage to get my clothes together, gym bag with all the necessary toiletries, and even remembered my cell phone. Even after getting all this shit together, in my lingering sleepy haze, I began to make my coffee. I fumbled around blindly looking for the filters, managed to get the beans in the grinder, and hell, even made one hell of a pot of coffee. I pour some up, throw on the cap to the travel mug, and head down to my garage, with all my other daily items.
I throw my bags in the back seat, toss my wallet and cell phone in the center console, and hop in the Griffmobile.

As I pull out of the driveway, I cant seem to figure out why my coffee mug has a power cord. Did Kim buy some fancy heated mug? Has this awesome new item always been in my cupboard and I simply never knew?

As it turns out, I filled my coffee grinder with a bold, yet inviting, Sumatran dark roast.

Kim, we need a new coffee grinder…

Hola

Alright boys keep it clean. A girl is on the site now!

p.s. This is a really good idea! Jake you are so smart.

Good idea bro

This is an easier and more private way to keep in contact. I would like to know how Brad found out about a band before they were born. I'm not on my computer as often as y'all but I'll try and keep up.

This is freakin sweet... Way better than myspace.

More to come from the Griffsta... Thanks for setting this up though. Far more convenient than myspace and all that crap...

Say Wudup

Hey everyone... I know that some of us are on myspace or facebook, but I don't always want to share stuff in my life with everyone on those sites. I was thinking how great it would be to be able to post stuff that happens to me randomly to a site where we could all review and comment. So here it is... I wanted to get our group together like this so that we could talk about how a homeless guy pissed on me...or how Jay had an 8 hr delay...or Brad found out about a band before they were even born. You can post a new pic of Baby Sefchick or Griffin, or even a pic of a fat cosby kid that you drop off at the pool. So I hope that all of you join in and spread the word. I think it will be a great way for us all to keep up with everyone's lives.